Here are some of the things we all hear around the workplace, and what they really mean:

I’m an expert multitasker. I am unable to concentrate on anything. I am continually diverted from what I should be doing by anything that catches my eye. Nothing ever gets my uninterrupted and undiluted attention.

I like to think outside the box. I don’t know where to start, so I’m going to brainstorm randomly and hope. 

I’m on it! I only said that to look like an eager beaver. I won’t actually do this myself, but will assign it to one of my minions.

Great idea, boss. I think it stinks, but don’t want to miss a chance to be a fawner and flatterer.

We need our ad to break through the clutter. We value style over substance, promise over actually delivering the goods. We hope it wins another meaningless, self-congratulatory award. 

We need to understand System 1 Thinking. I didn’t actually read the book, because it was really hard.  It has something to do with emotion, I think.

We need to put together a cross-functional team. I’ll do anything to avoid starting on this. Plus, there’s a good chance I can blame our failures on someone else.

I researched this. I Googled it and read part of a Wikipedia article.

I do my best work at the 11th hour. I put off work as long as I can and only start on it at the last minute.

I’m a people person. I don’t know how to work with ideas or things.

Sincerity is the most important thing. I have learned to fake it convincingly, so I’ve got it made.

Education is more important than experience. I have very little real-world experience. 

Experience is what counts. I don’t have the necessary education.

I gave it 110%. I don’t understand basic math.

Trust me. I have no evidence to back up my claim.