Florida City, the southernmost sub-suburb of Miami, calls itself the gateway to the Florida Keys. In April of 1982, the U.S. Border Patrol closed that gate when it blockaded the 125-mile-long chain of 800 coral islands. Troops set up their roadblock on U.S. Highway 1, at the junction of the only roads that go in and out of the Keys. The checkpoint was set on the Dade County side of the Monroe County line. The Miami/Dade metro area is home to more than 6 million people. Only 14,000 people live in Monroe County, all but a few of them in the Keys.
Why Did The Conch Republic Declare War on the United States?
Before reading on, get a feel for what things were happening all around you in 1982
You’re living in the year an Air Florida Boeing 737 crashes into the Potomac River at Washington National Airport*, killing 78. Argentina and the UK are fighting a 74-day undeclared war in the Falkland Islands that kills 900 people. Israel has invaded Lebanon with 30,000 troops. USA Today just published its first issue with the headline America’s Princess Grace dies in Monaco. E.T. phones home for the first time. Nancy Reagan tells us all to “Just Say No” to drugs. The movie Cats opens on Broadway. Dallas is the highest-rated tv show. Michael Jackson’s Thriller is released. Marvin Gaye advocates Sexual Healing. National Football League players go on strike and China’s population reaches one billion.
By establishing a United States border within the United States, the Federal Government was treating the Keys like they were a foreign country, and a hostile one, too
Federal agents searched every vehicle entering or leaving the Keys. The New York Times said traffic was backed up for 19 miles. That’s more than 5,000 vehicles. Those driving north from the Keys were searched for drug-smuggling. Those headed south were searched for illegal immigrants. Networks picked up the story from their Miami affiliates and it went viral.
Tourists from all over canceled their reservations
Business owners were furious with the Federal Government for ruining their tourist trade. For an entire area where tourism pays everyone’s bills, that’s bad.
Everyone born on Key West is a Conch (say conk)
Conch leaders took the Border Patrol to court where a judge refused to order them to take their roadblock and go home. Waiting for them outside the courthouse was a mob of print, television, radio, and tv news correspondents. The mayor declared Key West was seceding from the Union and would call itself The Conch Republic.
Conchs attacked a U.S. Coast Guard Cutter with water balloons.
When the federales returned fire with big hoses, the battle was over. The mayor surrendered and demanded $1 billion in foreign aid from the United States.** The Keys received no money, but the blockade was lifted. As per its website, the Conch Republic still exists, but as a sovereign state of mind.
United Press International told this story that I’ll pass along as is.
Remember as you read it, it’s 1982, so check today’s standards at the door and feel the mood.
“The ragtag crowd of folks dressed in three-piece suits and cutoff shorts roared their approval when the Conch Republic flag, a blue banner with a pink conch shell and a yellow sun, was raised.
‘We’ve raised our flag, given our notice and named our new government,’ (Mayor) Wardlow told the crowd. ‘We serve notice on the government in Washington to remove the roadblock or get ready to put up a permanent border to a new foreign land.’
After declaring war, Wardlow said his nation was ready to surrender and asked for $1 billion in foreign aid.
Other protesters set up their own checkpoint in the parking lot of the Last Chance Bar, across U.S. 1 from the federal roadblock. Regular bar patrons wearing Nazi helmets and carrying machetes and clubs stood at the roadside. They sold green cards to southbound tourists and drew icy stares from Border Patrol officers.”
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*Yes, it’s the same place where the Army helicopter and regional jet crashed in January 2025.
**The Mouse That Roared was published in 1955 and made into a film in 1959. The tiny Grand Duchy of Fenwick had run out of money. Civic leaders voted to declare war on the United States, attack New York City with bows and arrows, lose quickly with no injuries, and collect billions in foreign aid.
Bonus
Secession is an industry of its own. April 17-26, 2026 is the 44th Anniversary Independence Celebration in Key West. Mark your calendars now and don’t forget to pick up Conch Republic passports, flags, hats, coolies, and all the turista standards.
Key West natives call themselves Conchs, taking the name of the large spiral shells that lie about everywhere. Old-line Conchs finally admitted all The Northern Territories (the other Keys) to the Conch Republic.
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